What are parts?
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we have the concept of “parts.” When you’re first learning about IFS, this might seem confusing. It’s actually pretty intuitive once you start to turn inward.
Many of the ways in which we respond to the world and those around us didn’t just appear out of the blue. They usually started as ways to cope, connect, or feel safe when we were younger. In our younger years, if a need wasn’t met, we would probably start to develop a feeling, story, sensation, and/or behavior in order to get through this. You can think of these as parts of you that probably came in to try to help (even if they weren’t successful).
To start to get to know some of your parts, think about:
How you respond in relationships when you feel hurt
How you talk to yourself inside when you make a mistake
How your body responds when there is conflict
In therapy, we can explore:
How these parts show up for you today and when/why they started to show up
How they are trying to help you today
How to respond to them with compassion and gratitude
How to start to notice your parts in your daily life, as well as your response to them
What these parts need in order to start to shift
Understanding is powerful. It creates space and agency, and allows us to choose a different path. You don’t have to stay stuck in the same patterns you’ve been in your whole life.
